Paul gives a gift

Today is xmas Thursday, and in our pediatric clinic that means tons of kids coming to therapy filled with holiday treats. Some of them arrived mellow, others were very wired. Paul was a little of both. Paul is 9, has autism and more than that, social anxieties. Although Paul can speak, it is difficult and so he doesn't say much. Likewise, he has difficulty understanding speech, and so I sometimes when it's important, I write him a note.

Kay, another therapist, and I arrange for Paul to spend a part of each session with her client, Joey, so that they can both work on social skills. Joey is shy but has the hang of it. Paul literally tries to hide whenever playing with Joey is mentioned.

Paul's mom brought him to therapy at 5:00. I had a gift for Paul - a small checkers set that I bought after Kay suggested that we try and teach the two boys to play. In fact, I bought two sets. I didn't tell anyone, but I had an idea that I wasn't sure would work.

Paul sat on his favorite swing with his back to the large gym and began swinging for all his worth when Joey came up and asked him what he was going to do for Christmas. Paul looked away, not sure what to do and not able to find words. I coached him to say a few words and he did so. But he was clearly in a panic. Afterwards, his hand shook violently and so he and I practiced deep breathing while he pulled himself together.

I waited twenty minutes and then gave Paul a written note. It said that I had a second checkers set. Would he like to give it to Joey as a Christmas gift so that Joey could learn to play, too? He read the note and said okay and then ran and hid in the ball pit. I let him stay there and went real easy on him for the next 10 minutes while Joey finished up his therapy. Then I brought the checkers set out, Paul took it and handed it to Joey. He could hardly look at Joey. I prompted him, "Say Merry Christmas". He whispered, "Merry Christmas". Joey smiled, took the gift, thanked him and then left.

I patted Paul on the back, congratulated him on following through. And then we went back to the swing for more deep breathing.